Do you really want to know the two secrets to weight loss? I have them, and I am about to share them with you here:
First, get your wisdom teeth out and suck down protein shakes as your main source of nourishment for a few days.
Then, right when you’re on the brink of being able to chew solid food and return to normalcy, get your hands on some kind of nasty, awful gastrointestinal infection and watch as your insides revolt and find the quickest exit out of your body.
I promise you’ll drop weight. I dropped 4 pounds in 3 days. Yikes.
So I have bad luck.
Okay fine, I have really shitty luck when it comes to my health. I don’t know why. I always have. No matter how well I take care of myself, something ridiculous always happens.
Ever since embarking on this journey, I have been feeling amazing. I had some momentum going into the wisdom teeth removal and them BAM! Get slammed with some mystery intestinal war. And now all I can eat ARE carbs. How ironic... All I can stomach are saltines, jello and freaking popsicles. Its absolutely awful. I’m not even kidding. I’m CRAVING protein, but I’m terrified of eating it right now. So I’ll just remain on the carb bloat. Ugh.
I can’t even tell you how anxious I am to return to normal and can get back on the train.
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