Sure picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue…

Okay so maybe not sniffing glue, but, certainly this is a challenging time for me to not be inhaling carbs all day for quick energy and pounding wine at the end of the night for a quick pass-out. But then again, the lethal combination of those two things got me exactly where I am today, so I suppose I should be trying something new.

But boy, i gotta tell ya, meat, nuts and lettuce sure don't ease the pain like a bag of Pirate's Booty can! Yar!

But really, how do you cope when you are stressed out, irritated or upset? Deep breaths and meditation aren't that satisfying. Most likely because my version of deep breaths is me hyperventilating, and meditation is more like visualizing myself roundhouse-kicking a few select people.

Not exactly calming.

So what can I do? Really, I'm asking you people out there. If I'm going to make this work and not rely on Mark or Robert (West and Mondavi, respectively) to numb the pain, I'm going to need some suggestions.

There must be other ways that healthy, fit people deal with stress. One might argue that stress makes you skinny. Let me set the record straight for you right here.

That is false.

Take me, for example. I've been stressed out since, oh, somewhere around 2003. And I'm not skinny. I also lost a massive chunk of hair thanks to that stress, but that's over on my Alopecia Anonymous blog.

And though a swift roundhouse kick to the head would be immediately gratifying, it isn't going to get me anywhere other than to jail. Or sued. And I'm pretty sure they aren't going to care that i need to eat lean protein and a green veggie every three hours in jail.