Oh, hi.

Okay relax. I’m here. Don’t fret.

Sometimes life gets a little complex and rather than air my dirty laundry on the interweb, I needed to hide out for a bit. If I had allowed myself to express my frustrations over the past few days, I would have been short a job and probably a few friends. So. I actually used the filter (for once) and said nothing.

Its been hard the past several days. Really freaking hard. Like, from the second my toes touch the floor in the morning I’m on a battlefield hard. The kind of hard that I would wash down with a bottle of red and shut up with pizza and pasta and all kinds of delicious sugars. But instead I have refrained. Somehow. Many MANY times.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had some wine. But probably have consumed a bottle over the course of 2 weeks, instead of 2 hours. Progress? You betcha! Perfect? No way. But more than enough progress to keep me satisfied.

And there is that concept again. Progress. Small wins. Baby steps. Its not realistic to ask for 0 to 60 while skipping over 1 to 59. I know that. But its so hard to be at a standstill and want to be flying down the highway with the wind blowing through your hair, and not want to slowly accelerate.

Like Veruca said, “its my bar of chocolate, give it to me NOW!”

I’d like to share a few examples of my personal progress with you right now:

I quite literally just an hour ago received a free meal from my most favorite restaurant. SECONDS away from ordering a succulent sounding pasta dish that was new to the menu, I opted instead for the burger. Which, I only ate one half of one half of the bun. So, I ate one quarter. Is that right? Math is not my forte. But yes that’s right. I had a burger and I ate one quarter of the bun. I mean I had to. I HAD TO. I did. I needed that bread and oh my was it delightful.

At a graduation party of the weekend, one where I would normally have consumed several adult beverages and many many carb filled delights, I settled for a brief grazing at the appetizer table and one single solitary glass of red wine. People thought I was sick because I wasn’t drinking.

I had to spend hours taking pictures of food at my most favorite local store. Snapping pics of fresh baked bread, pies, tortellini salad, prepared lasagnas, cookies, even toffee covered peanuts! (oh my) I walked out of there with a head of lettuce and some chicken.

I mean, come on guys, do you know me? Do you have ANY idea how hard all of that is? For the average bear yes, those are challenging scenarios.

But for me, ME, especially. My god, I have a tattoo of I <3 Bread right on my belly. I’m the Queen of Crackers, the Princess of Pasta, the Warrior of Wine. I run on that stuff like American Runs on Dunkin.

BUT. And there is a but.

I feel amazing. Okay alright I’m stressed out a little bit about work and life. But otherwise I feel incredible. I’m sleeping. I’m not hungry all the time. I’m not bloated. My face has thinned out. I FEEL thinner even if I don’t look it. I feel good about my self for the first time in a long time. A VERY long time.

I have a long way to go. But I’d say I’m off to a great running start. I meet with the trainer (for a real workout) this weekend, and will start doing my program on my own all next week. That’s kind of step 2 in this whole process. Step 1 being kick the carb habit.

Consider it kicked.

Boo.

Yeah.